


Same Love

by AndiiErestor



Series: Different Time, Different Place [5]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, but so in love, poor boys are so sad, so real, the struggle of not being able to bear children is real, what can you do...?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndiiErestor/pseuds/AndiiErestor
Summary: "Please, lover," I begged him, "please sit with me?"And he did, as he always did. He sat by my side, took my hands in his and kissed my temple, waiting patiently for me to speak."You want children," I stated simply once we had both sat down."Of course, my love," Glorfindel acquiesed, "I thought you did too?""I can't give you that," I pleaded, for what, I did not know.





	Same Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dalandel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dalandel/gifts).



> A huge thanks for Dalandel who helped get me out of the slump I was in, who helped get this finished finally.

 

I had never fancied a lover for myself that would be good with children, mostly because I have never desired children of my own. Yet as I watch him now with the sons of Elrond, I understand why such a trait would be appealing. It is indicative of a will to care for others, and of a love that reaches beyond oneself. It requires an understanding of the world that most forget about in their old age to grasp the wild imaginings of elflings.

 

Aye, such things I had never considered before, and now he is all the more beautiful for it. His smile is wider and more honest than I have ever seen it. His hair is loose and shining freely in the sun for he was ambushed in his rooms before he could finish dressing. This also probably best explained the reason for his bare feet.

 

He overindulges his loved ones - clearly - and I would know best, though I often find myself wishing to be the only focus of such attention. Perhaps our many partings have made me selfish - covetous. I suppress the urge of course, to pull him away from others like a jealous child and glare at all who would dare approach him, for he shines brightest when he is bringing joy to others.

 

"Uncle! Uncle!" comes the cry of Elladan, reaching for me despite my cold shoulder, as my beautiful golden oaf tickles them both mercilessly, drawing peals of laughter and cries of anguish from the boys.

 

Taking pity on them, I approach, intending to distract their assailant, "My lord Glorfindel," I begin, speaking as though I hadn't seen the struggling twins. I never quite understood why this amused children so much, but their laughter told me it was doing as intended, "I believe your presence is required in the chief counsellor's office."

 

My love glanced up at me, all white teeth and crinkled eyes, "Aye, understood. Whatever, then, shall I do with these miscreants?" He tickled them once more.

 

"You might find the dungeons an apt place to keep them," I pause for dramatic effect, long enough for them to gasp, "or simply return them to their parents." With a wink at them, they renewed their attacks upon their assailant, each tickling him on one side until Glorfindel threw himself on his back and surrendered.

 

"Ai! You've bested me once more, my lords," he groaned in mock-pain as he sat up, "Will I _ever_ defeat you, so mighty a team as you are?"

 

"Nay, mighty slayer!"

 

"We are invincible!"

 

"Together we can do anything."

 

"Yes you can," Glorfindel granted, "and together you must return to your naneth." He allowed for their groans of disappointment before continuing, "You heard uncle Erestor. The chief counsellor needs me."

 

"Can't you tell him you're busy?"

 

"Aye, can't you tell him to come play instead?"

 

"Hm," Glorfindel tapped his thumb against his lip, "I suppose I _could_ , but the chief counsellor is a very busy elf, and he does look out for all of us in the valley, just as much as your father. I think it is best that we heed his council, no?"

 

The twins glanced at each other and grumbled, _I suppose_ , and _very well_ , and _perhaps ada has finished with his meeting_ , and _maybe we can find nana to read to us_.

 

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," I say to them with a smile, "I am certain your naneth has missed you since this morning."

 

And so it was that my love and I, accompanied by the ever energetic sons of our lord Elrond retreated into the Last Homely House in search of her lady. We searched the boys' room first, as they wanted to select their favourite book as well - which I of course then carried _for_ them.Next came the library, then Elrond's office, which strangely enough, was empty. The kitchens, the cellar, the gardens - again - and finally the halls of healing.

 

We arrived just at the end of a ruckus, it seemed, for while Elrond was adequately ruffled, he greeted us with a wide smile, and the twins with a generous hug.

 

"What seems to be the matter?" He looked up at myself and Glorfindel from where he knelt to embrace his sons.

 

"Nothing grave," Glorfindel assured him, "I admit we simply wished to return your children to you or your wife, though if you are busy, we can return."

 

"Then you have arrived at the best time," Elrond smiled, "for Muineth is resting and Lindir is safe in her husband's arms. I think I can spare a few moments."

 

Lindir? Who is Lindir? Can we see, ada? Can we meet them? Began the twins incessant line of questioning, and their father patiently answered them, all while leading us into the room. Muineth had birthed a son then, as we could see, and Aennen was rocking him silently by her bed.

 

I watched Glorfindel as we approached the couple and found that his eyes were drawn to the babe, as I had thought. There was a light there in his gaze and a wonder. Despite having been there for the birth of the twins, he still held a curiosity for young life, and a joy and a love for them. He approached Aennen, around the small cot Muineth lay silently on, without ever looking away and knelt before the off-duty guard.

 

“He is precious,” a gasp from my lover, and he turned to me, “Come Erestor! Come see how little he is – how sweet.”

 

Aennen chuckled amiably at seeing his captain on his knees before his child, “He is sweet now, but was not so only a few moments ago before he ate.”

 

Glorfindel joined him in subdued laughter while I came to stand next to him. I caught the babe’s eye and it seemed he gazed at me forever. Newborn and yet like his brother before him, kind eyes, and a hidden talent.

 

“Is he not wonderful, my love?” he asked me, but before I could respond Aennen shook his head.

 

“Come now, Glorfindel. Should I be concerned at your admiration of my child? See? He is fair-haired as well. Shall I question my wife when she awakens?”

 

Glorfindel gasped and recoiled, “I would _never!_ ” A hand came to rest over his heart at the affront. “And you know well that Muineth could do you no such harm, my friend. To even suggest it wounds me, and would no doubt wound her as well.”

 

“You are correct in that, my apologies,”

 

"Apologies accepted," Glorfindel nodded with a smile though it fell when he turned to look at me. I suppose the look on my face reflected my train of thought. "I think it is time I took my leave. I was expected somewhere, was I not?"

 

I gave him a silent nod, not knowing how much I would be able to say without losing my composure and offered the twins a hug before leaving the room, waiting for Glorfindel in the hall. No doubt I was worrying him, but this wasn't something I wanted to discuss in front of our family, and it was something I had toiled over alone for months already.

 

"Where to then, darling?" he says as he steps out of the room and places his hand on my back.

 

"Let us retire for the evening, love," I say to him quietly, "We can have dinner brought to us this once."

 

"Aye, I think that might be best," Glorfindel agreed quickly, "Whatever this is, I can tell you will need peace soon."

 

I offered him a smile and led the way back. He held me, one arm around my waist, as he rarely did, but he had guessed correctly at my need for comfort, and I was reluctant to pull away. I took us by the kitchens first to kindly ask that our meal be left outside our rooms tonight before finally taking us home.

 

Once there, I closed the door behind us and collapsed heavily onto the sofa - the one facing the balcony - and simply stared ahead at my beautiful love as he leaned against the windowsil.

 

"Please, lover," I begged him, "please sit with me?"

 

And he did, as he always did. He sat by my side, took my hands in his and kissed my temple, waiting patiently for me to speak.

 

"You want children," I stated simply once we had both sat down.

 

"Of course, my love," Glorfindel acquiesed, "I thought you did too?"

 

"I can't give you that," I pleaded, for what, I did not know.

 

"I know that Erestor," he looked at me as though trying to decipher some deeply hidden mystery, "Do you think I would abandon you over so simple a thing?"

 

That frown he had now, that pinch of his brow, the same he had in council or in battle. He was focused, resolved, wounded, trying to solve a problem. The light of the afternoon sun created that halo I so loved when it reached his hair. It always seemed to me to reflect without, the light within his heart. It was a beautiful thing to see, though it made my heart ache all the more given how much I would have to deny him even now - especially for all he did for me.

 

"I know you wouldn't," I stopped suddenly, as a thought came to me. "That's why..."

 

"Erestor no."

 

I heard the choke in his voice.

 

"You cannot possibly mean that," his voice was like gravel as he shouted.

 

I had never seen him like this before and my heart broke to a pieces at simply hearing him.

 

"Of course I don't want this," I cried, "I want you to be _happy_."

 

"I am happy with _you_ ," he says, slipping off the sofa to kneel before me. "Please Erestor, do not do this. Please. I couldn't... I would not survive it. Perhaps I _am_ the weaker of us, but I... Please. Erestor my love, my heart, _please._ "

 

And as always, my heart of ice melted for this beauty, this pure spirit, this heart of gold with all the warmth of the sun.

 

"I..."

 

Words escaped me and I simply fell forward and wept. My arms came up to wrap around his neck, as his went around my waist. I cried into his hair and he cried into my barren stomach. This fear I had, still had, I almost let it cost me the post precious thing I had. To think I could have lost the love of my being, over something so small.

 

"F-Forgive me," I sobbed into Glorfindel's neck. "Aiya, please Glorfindel, my love, my heart. I have been such a fool. I was so blind."

 

"You were hurting, Erestor," he whispered against my lips after looking up, "You _are_ hurting, because I have failed you."

 

"No..."

 

"I should have assured you that this was not so necessary for my happiness," he resented himself now because I hadn't spoken with him, and instead assumed. "I should have said something. I am so sorry, my love. I _do_ love children, and I would relish the opportunity to raise a family with you, but I am perfectly happy to raise Elrond's children instead, and watch them wreak havoc in your library."

 

"No, my love," I said to him, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. No doubt I looked a mess worse than he did, " _I_ should have told you when I began having doubts. It is not up to you to anticipate my every mood. It should not have come to this. I am so sorry my love."

 

"Please Erestor," he took my cheeks in the palms of his hands, "Let us forgo dinner? Let me take you to bed and hold you? Will you hold me as well?"

 

 _Aye, that is what I want_ , I nodded silently and let him take my hands to help me up.

 

He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips, but no less filled with emotion for it, and led me to our bedroom. Once there, slowly he began to untie the clasps of my robe, as I did to his, pushing them to the ground about together and removing the long undershirts with them as well before he picked me up and gently lay me on the covers.

 

I pulled my feet up and slipped under the sheets as he went around the bed and crawled in to face me, moving closer and closer until our legs were entangled, our arms wrapped around each other once again and my head lay on his shoulder, where he could easily press kisses against my hairline as I knew he loved to do.

 

"I love you _so_ , Erestor," he whispered instead today, "Your being in my life... I could never ask for more than that. I _want_ nothing more than you, ever. A happy surprise anything more would be, but I _want_ for nothing when I am with you."

 

" _Glorfindel,_ " I knew not what to say except, "Thank you."

 

I felt his smile against the side of my face as I'm certain he felt the tear that fell from my eye and landed - no doubt - on his neck.


End file.
